Halloween (2007)

(2007)
Director: Rob Zombie
Writer: Rob Zombie

Rob Zombie's re-imagining of Halloween begins with Michael Myers's childhood. Raised in a white trash household with an abusive stepfather and a desperate mother who works at the local strip club to make ends meet, young Michael Myers's sociopathic behavior goes unchecked until he finally snaps and kills several people on Halloween night. Now after 15 years in an asylum, Michael Myers escapes and returns to Haddonfield for his little sister.

Rob Zombie goes much deeper into the origin of Michael Myers with this remake than any of the previous films. Although I personally really enjoy the first half, I can understand why many people had a problem with it. By going so in depth with the influences and motivations of the character of Michael Myers, he loses a lot of his mystique, that "boogeyman" quality. Instead of being "evil incarnate", Michael Myers becomes yet another serial killer. Although I feel like the series had pretty much run it's course with that angle anyways, and I was glad to see a different perspective. After the one hour mark however, the film becomes a fairly straight-forward remake of the first film. I guess when I first watched it, I was a bit disappointed as the first half of the film was so innovative and off-the-rails of what you would expect from a Halloween movie. Once it settled into familiar territory, suddenly I knew what to expect and wasn't quite as enthralled. It also didn't help that the movie clocks in at almost two hours. If it loses you along the way, that's way longer than it needs to be. Rob Zombie has a very fast-paced, music video style of directing and while I personally love it, it doesn't fit with every movie. The eerie, uncomfortable tension that permeated the first film is lost in this re-imagining, although the film's quickly-edited, brutal attack scenes do provide an uncomfortable tension of their own.

A lot of people were very upset with this remake, some even going as far as to claim that Rob Zombie "ruined the Halloween franchise". First of all, let's be honest. The Halloween franchise was ruined long before Rob Zombie got there. In today's world of big budget remakes and re-imaginings, Halloween was bound to get rebooted whether anyone wanted it to or not. At least Rob Zombie tried to do something a little different with it. It may be true that Zombie doesn't appear to have the same love for the original film as a lot of the fans, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes a bit of distance from the source material can bring an interesting new perspective. Remember the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho? Remember how everyone hated it because it brought absolutely nothing new to the table? We could've gotten that. No one will ever capture the lightning-in-a-bottle of the original Halloween. That movie exists in it's own time and place. If you're going to remake a film that you obviously can't make better, come at it from a different angle and bring your own voice to it. Whether you love it or hate it, you can't deny that Halloween feels like a Rob Zombie film.

Although I did enjoy this film more upon re-watching it, it's faults are still plainly obvious to me. I don't feel that it deserves as much hate as it's usually given, but I also admit that it could be done better. I give Rob Zombie's Halloween 3 1/2 out of 6 beers.

Halloween: Resurrection

(2002)
Director: Rick Rosenthal
Writers: Larry Brand, Sean Hood

In Halloween: Resurrection Michael Myers finishes up some business with the now institutionalized Laurie Strode, then makes his way home to Haddonfield. Meanwhile Busta Rhymes, the host of a popular internet reality show that films groups of young people in serial killers' homes, has secured the infamous Myers house for his hit show. Michael Myers then returns home and picks off the teenagers one by one, to the internet's amusement.

Halloween: Resurrection was the only film in the Halloween series I hadn't seen before, and I have to admit that it was a bit of a surprise. It wasn't exactly a good movie, but it certainly wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The whole internet reality show angle, as silly as it is, is at least an interesting and fresh idea. The film also provides some fairly decent slasher movie kills, especially in a year when the slasher film renaissance was pretty much on it's way out. Really, if I have one complaint about this movie, it's Busta Rhymes. Every time he appeared on screen, I found myself becoming increasingly irritated by him. Maybe that was just his "character", but I suspect it had more to do with his inability to act like anyone other than Busta Rhymes. All in all, Halloween: Resurrection is a decent entry as long as you don't expect too much from it. I give it a perfectly average 3 out of 6 beers.

Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later

(1998)
Director: Steve Miner
Writers: Robert Zappia, Matt Greenberg

Halloween H20 retcons parts 4, 5, & 6 and takes place 20 years after the end of part 2. Jamie Lee Curtis returns as Laurie Strode, who has faked her own death and changed her name to become the headmistress of a private school in California. Michael Myers has tracked her down and, while all but a select few are away from the school on a vacation, sets out to complete the job he started twenty years ago.

H20 was made in 1998, during the post-Scream slasher renaissance, and feels very much like a product of it's time. Characters in the film can be seen watching Scream on television, and Kevin Williamson (of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer fame) was brought in to punch up some of the dialogue in the film. This isn't actually a bad thing if you enjoy those late 90's slashers, but H20 certainly doesn't brave any new territory. Learning from the mistakes of the last 3 films in the franchise, H20 is fairly straight-forward and explains very little. It's never revealed where exactly Michael came from, where he has been for the last twenty years, or why he has returned now. There are a few good kills, but not as many as you would expect from a Halloween film, especially one that is supposed to be Michael's big return. The film is littered with disposable characters, very few of which actually die.

Let me just say that H20 is one of the dumbest titles ever. Since the movie has absolutely nothing to do with water, it's just a really lazy and unfunny pun. Also it then insults us further, explaining the pun by adding "Twenty Years Later". I'm not stupid, I get why you're calling it H20. Maybe the third film in the series of Halloween remakes should be titled "Hallow33n: The Es Are Threes Because It's The Third Movie, Get It?". I remember really disliking Halloween H20 when it first came out, but upon re-watching it I didn't hate it nearly as much. Even though it's nothing out of the ordinary, it's certainly not as bad as some of the previous sequels (even though it does feature a Creed song). It's a standard, no-nonsense slasher that comes in at a merciful 86 minutes. I give Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later 3 1/2 out of 6 beers.

Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers (Producer's Cut)

(1995)
Director: Joe Chappelle
Writer: Daniel Farrands

In this sixth installment of the Halloween franchise, the now adult Tommy Doyle from the first film (played in this film by a young Paul Rudd) is still attempting to find a motive for Michael Myers' killing sprees. After finding the baby of Jamie Lloyd at a bus station, he eventually pieces together that Michael Myers is actually under the influence of the ancient druidic rune of Thorn. The cult of Thorn believes that in order to prevent sickness and famine, one vessel (Michael Myers) is chosen to sacrifice their next of kin on the night of Samhain. As Jamie's child would be Michael's last sacrifice, the curse of Thorn would then have to find a new vessel and the most likely candidate seems to be Danny, the youngest of the Strode family who also hears the same "voices" that Michael did when he was a child. Along with Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance in his last film role) and Danny's mother Kara, Tommy attempts to stop the Thorn cult from more senseless killing.

Having already seen Halloween 6 (though admittedly it was a long time ago), I decided to watch the Producer's Cut of the film instead as it's supposed to be the better version. I can't really say for sure whether or not that's true, I was just as confused after watching this version as I was the first time I saw the movie. Halloween 6 is definitely ambitious and tries really hard to tie all of the movies together into a cohesive narrative, but in explaining the origin of Michael's immortality and superhuman strength it sort of loses some of it's punch. Making Michael Myers into the victim of a nefarious cult kind of forces him to lose his "boogeyman" image and become another mentally damaged killer. Albeit one with supernatural powers. However, I didn't completely hate this movie. It's not good by any stretch of the imagination, but at least it's somewhat interesting. I can't really fault the makers of the film for trying to make sense of a series that had already kind of gone off the rails. Their efforts really are admirable, but in the end Halloween 6 just ends up as a confusing and jumbled mess. Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers gets 2 1/2 out of 6 beers.

Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers

(1989)
Director: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Writers: Dominique Othenin-Girard, Michael Jacobs, Shem Bitterman

Halloween 5 takes place one year after the events of part 4. Michael has been in a coma in a hermit's shack for an entire year, and Jamie Lloyd, now mute, has been under psychiatric care. Just before Halloween, Michael suddenly awakens and Jamie begins sensing that he is coming for her.

Halloween 5 seems to me to be the point where the Halloween franchise really jumps the shark. Instead of working with the much more interesting premise of Jamie Lloyd continuing the legacy of Michael Myers as set up by the ending of part 4, they go back to the same tired formula of Michael Myers stalking his last known relative and killing anyone who gets in his way. Except this time, he doesn't even seem to know what he's doing. He seemingly just kills at random with no final goal in mind. First he goes after Jamie's adopted sister, then just goes after her friends for no discernible reason. When he attempts to kill her adopted sister's friend Tina, it seems to affect Jamie way more than when he killed her adopted sister, even curing her muteness, and we're never really sure why. There's a whole lot of things going on in this movie that don't really make much sense, but it's not really a good enough movie to find the energy to care. The whole movie is kind of a boring mess that I'm sure disappointed audiences as well, seeing as it would be another 6 years before the franchise returned. I give Halloween 5 two out of six beers.

Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers

(1988)
Director: Dwight H. Little
Writers: Alan B. McElroy, Dhani Lipsius, Larry Rattner, Benjamin Ruffner

Halloween 4 finds that Michael Myers has survived the fire at the end of Halloween II and has been in a coma for the last ten years. While being transferred to another facility, a paramedic mentions the fact that he has a niece, causing him to reawaken and slaughter anyone that stands between him and his last blood relative. Jamie Lloyd, the seven-year-old daughter of Laurie Strode (who has apparently died in a car accident, most likely because Jamie Lee Curtis had found fame elsewhere and had no interest in returning to the series) has visions of being stalked by her infamous uncle while Dr. Loomis (who also somehow survived the end of Halloween II) intends to intercept him and stop "The Shape" for good.

Halloween 4 is not a terrible sequel. While it definitely feels much cheaper than any of the previous films, it does have enough in it to appeal to fans of the original. The teenage friend of Jamie's foster sister is named Lindsey, and although originally given more to do in the script, was supposed to be the same Lindsey that Laurie Strode ended up babysitting in the first Halloween. Donald Pleasance returns as Dr. Loomis, although at this point in the series he seems less like the one rational person who knows how dangerous Michael is and more like an insane person that no one can really be blamed for ignoring. All in all, Halloween 4 is a fairly solid sequel that should keep fans of the series entertained and an entry that at least seems to be trying to move the mythos of Michael Myers forward. I give it 4 out of 6 beers.

Halloween III: Season Of The Witch

(1982)
Director: Tommy Lee Wallace
Writer: Tommy Lee Wallace

In Halloween III: Season Of The Witch, mustachioed casanova Tom Atkins drinks his way through a dark conspiracy involving a popular line of Halloween masks, the eerily quiet town where they're produced, and robots. I've reviewed Halloween III on this site before for one of my October challenges, so there's not a ton more that I can say about it. It's a real fun Halloween movie even if (or perhaps because) it has nothing to do with the rest of the series. Although most of it is pretty silly, it's aged well and certainly has more fans now than when it first came out. Halloween III gets 4 out of 6 beers.

Halloween II

(1981)
Director: Rick Rosenthal
Writers: John Carpenter, Debra Hill

Halloween II picks up directly after the events of the first film, with Jamie Lee Curtis returning as Laurie Strode. While Laurie is being taken to the hospital, Dr. Loomis and the sheriff continue to look for Michael Myers, who is still on the loose. Unbeknownst to them, Michael is not yet finished with Laurie, as they have a deeper, mysterious connection.

Halloween II is a really solid sequel that manages to hold it's own against the original. While it doesn't quite capture the same overpowering sense of dread as the original, it does a good job of expanding on the Michael Myers mythos and providing a nice, creepy hospital atmosphere for our killer to stalk around in. Halloween II gets 5 out of 6 beers.

Halloween

(1978)
Director: John Carpenter
Writers: John Carpenter, Debra Hill

The original Halloween is a classic and there's not much I can say about it that hasn't been said before. While it's definitely not the first slasher film as many claim, it can't be disputed that it's certainly one of the most influential. Launching the reign of Michael Myers, one of the all-time great boogeymen, Halloween set it's tension and terror in the unlikeliest of places- a sleepy little town in middle America. For better or worse, Halloween spawned an entire sub-genre of films trying to duplicate it's formula, to varying degrees of success. One would think that a film as imitated as Halloween would lose some of it's effectiveness, but for me it still holds up just as well every time I watch it. Halloween is the perfect movie to settle down in front of on a chilly fall night with a big bowl of popcorn. A feeling of dread permeates the entire film and Carpenter's haunting synth score echoes in your bones long after the credits roll. For someone who grew up in a small town like I did, Halloween hits every note flawlessly, perfectly reproducing that suburban fear, that prickling on the back of your neck that tells you that somewhere out there in the unsettling quiet someone or something is watching you. And waiting.

Halloween gets 5 1/2 out of 6 beers.