Bikini Summer (1991) is exactly what you would expect from a movie named Bikini Summer. There are lots of girls in bikinis, it takes place during summer, it even has it's own catchy theme song. The plot (or what little of it there is) involves a ragtag group of young people who are left in charge of a Malibu beach house. The horndog, fashion designer, environmental activist, rock musician, beer-guzzling layabout, and lovelorn bikini girl all eventually come together to hold a "Hottest Bikini Girl" contest to save the beach from a sleazy slumlord that wants to build condos there. Then there's about twenty minutes of ladies in bikinis posing to cheesy early nineties rock while this guy looks on, making this face...
Bikini Summer is exactly the kind of movie one would catch on USA Up All Night in the 90's and I would be shocked if it didn't play on there. That's not to say I didn't enjoy it. In fact, I kind of loved it. I have a real nostalgia for all of the weird, sleazy movies I caught on TV back in the day. Bikini Summer is a real dumb movie, but it's just dumb enough to be entertaining. 3 1/2 out of 6 beers.
Yeah, this is gonna be a real weird triple feature. Strap yourselves in. Amin: The Rise And Fall (1981) tells the true story of Idi Amin's military coup of Uganda and his horrifying, tyrannical rule. For the most part, this movie sticks pretty close to the truth. The only exception is depicting Amin as a cannibal, which was likely just a rumor. However if you doubt for a second that this is an exploitation movie, just watch this trailer.
When it was released in theaters owners were given cardboard cutouts of Amin and beanbags for patrons to throw, with newspaper ads claiming "Vent your spleen! Bean Amin!". Pair that promotional gimmick with the amazing trailer above and you've got a recipe for delicious exploitation. Amin: The Rise And Fall is pretty fascinating and never boring. 4 1/2 out of 6 beers.
Naturally, the perfect follow up to Amin: The Rise And Fall would be the second worst thing to happen to Africa, Ernest Goes To Africa (1997). This is the ninth and final Ernest movie and it's really not as bad as I thought it would be. Ernest Goes To Africa finds Ernest P. Worrell being pursued by some bad guys who are after a relic stolen from an African tribe which Ernest has found and turned into a yo-yo. This takes Ernest and his would-be love interest Renee to the heart of Africa, and wackiness ensues. Also, I'd like to address the fact that in this film Ernest makes reference to a "little trick he learned in Vietnam". I can also say for a fact that this is not the only time in the series Ernest has mentioned Vietnam. So let's all stop and think about that for a second. Ernest was in Vietnam. Ernest P. Worrell WAS IN VIETNAM. Am I the only one whose mind reels imagining what kind of misplaced wacky shenanigans Ernest might have gotten into while fighting in an actual war? Sadly, we will never see Jim Varney star in Ernest Goes To 'Nam, but the very idea of it will always make me smile.
I could go on for paragraphs about how I grew up with the Ernest films and the effect they had on me, but I feel like that's a discussion for another time. Let's just say that while Ernest Goes To Africa seems forced at times and could never match the magic of Ernest Saves Christmas or Ernest Goes To Camp, it's an entertaining enough way to spend 90 minutes. 3 1/2 out of 6 beers.
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