Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Halloween Marathon
It's been a while since I posted anything, and I was considering whether or not I would try to top last October's massive undertaking of 75 horror movies I hadn't seen before. Ultimately I decided that I wouldn't have time this year for that many movies, but I still wanted to do something. So I've decided that for the month of October this year I will watch and review all of the movies in the Halloween franchise, including the Rob Zombie remakes. It should be noted that last time I watched it, I actually really enjoyed Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. This will be ten movies total that I'm covering with an average of about two movies a week. Now I know that ten movies is not impressive and that this is a franchise that's been covered a million times (probably better) on other blogs. However I'm hoping that maybe I can bring a little something new to the reviews, or that at the very least you can watch me struggle to defend Zombie's H2, which many people regard as indefensible. Happy Halloween!
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Video Nasty #20- Toxic Zombies
By the time The House By The Cemetery ended, everyone else in my crew had fallen asleep. But I was determined to make it to the end, so I made one last trip to the snack bar and settled in to watch the final film of the weekend.
(1980)
Director: Charles McCrann
Writer: Charles McCrann
In Toxic Zombies (also known as Bloodeaters and Forest Of Fear), a group of hippie pot farmers, suspecting that the feds are onto them, decide to gather up what remains of their crop and make their escape. Unfortunately for them, a group of federal agents decide to have the remote area of Pennsylvania that the hippies call home to their operation crop dusted with an experimental new herbicide which turns them all into bloodthirsty maniacs. Forest ranger Tom Cole isn't deterred by the government's warnings to stay away from the area due to "severe flooding", and takes his annual fishing trip anyway, along with his wife and brother. While there they run into Amy and Jimmy, a brother and sister whose parents were slaughtered by the toxic zombies. Soon, the maniacal hippies descend upon them and they desperately try to escape back to civilization.
When the star of your film is also it's writer, director, and producer, it's a pretty safe bet that you're in for a stinker. Add to that some other terrible performances, not the least of which is the mentally challenged Jimmy played by an actor dressed like Simple Jack that goes "full retard". You never go full retard. There's also an actor that plays one of the zombies that looks remarkably like Tom Petty and it cracks me up every time.
I suppose this film fell onto the nasties list because of the gore in it, which is strange because it's not particularly good. In fact, it seems like the kind of movie that no one would pay any attention to if it weren't on the list. Except maybe for the kickass poster. The plot is stupid, the actors are terrible, and the effects are pretty awful. And that's kind of what makes Toxic Zombies worth watching. I give it 4 1/2 out of 6 beers.
And with that, the April Ghoul's Drive-In Monster-Rama was over. As The Spaniels' "Goodnite, Sweetheart, Goodnite" played over the radio and I climbed into my tent for a few hours of sleep, I could hardly wait to come back in the fall and enjoy another two nights of good times, great snacks, and awesome horror flicks.
(1980)
Director: Charles McCrann
Writer: Charles McCrann
In Toxic Zombies (also known as Bloodeaters and Forest Of Fear), a group of hippie pot farmers, suspecting that the feds are onto them, decide to gather up what remains of their crop and make their escape. Unfortunately for them, a group of federal agents decide to have the remote area of Pennsylvania that the hippies call home to their operation crop dusted with an experimental new herbicide which turns them all into bloodthirsty maniacs. Forest ranger Tom Cole isn't deterred by the government's warnings to stay away from the area due to "severe flooding", and takes his annual fishing trip anyway, along with his wife and brother. While there they run into Amy and Jimmy, a brother and sister whose parents were slaughtered by the toxic zombies. Soon, the maniacal hippies descend upon them and they desperately try to escape back to civilization.
When the star of your film is also it's writer, director, and producer, it's a pretty safe bet that you're in for a stinker. Add to that some other terrible performances, not the least of which is the mentally challenged Jimmy played by an actor dressed like Simple Jack that goes "full retard". You never go full retard. There's also an actor that plays one of the zombies that looks remarkably like Tom Petty and it cracks me up every time.
I suppose this film fell onto the nasties list because of the gore in it, which is strange because it's not particularly good. In fact, it seems like the kind of movie that no one would pay any attention to if it weren't on the list. Except maybe for the kickass poster. The plot is stupid, the actors are terrible, and the effects are pretty awful. And that's kind of what makes Toxic Zombies worth watching. I give it 4 1/2 out of 6 beers.
And with that, the April Ghoul's Drive-In Monster-Rama was over. As The Spaniels' "Goodnite, Sweetheart, Goodnite" played over the radio and I climbed into my tent for a few hours of sleep, I could hardly wait to come back in the fall and enjoy another two nights of good times, great snacks, and awesome horror flicks.
Video Nasty #19- The House By The Cemetery
The last two movies of the night were ones I hadn't seen before, so I loaded up on coffee and snacks and prepared myself. Next on the agenda was another Lucio Fulci film, The House By The Cemetery.
(1981)
Director: Lucio Fulci
Writers: Elisa Briganti, Lucio Fulci, Giorgio Mariuzzo, Dardano Sacchetti
The House By The Cemetery is very strange movie and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it. It follows a family that is moving into an old mansion in New England. The son, Bob, has some kind of telepathic communication with a little girl who keeps warning him not to come to the house. Soon after moving in, it becomes apparent that something strange is going on in the basement which is nailed shut.
House By The Cemetery has some pretty gruesome kills in it and that likely the reason it was on the "Nasty" list. Most notable is the "bat attack" scene which becomes so bloody it actually starts to seem comical. My guess as to the real reason House By The Cemetery was banned though, is Bob. Bob is quite possibly the most annoying character put to screen. His voice makes me angry, his face makes me angry. He is the Jar-Jar Binks of Italian horror.
Despite Bob however, The House By The Cemetery is a pretty engaging piece of Fulci madness. I was never quite sure where it was going to go and was enthralled by oddness of it all. The House By The Cemetery gets 4 out of 6 beers.
(1981)
Director: Lucio Fulci
Writers: Elisa Briganti, Lucio Fulci, Giorgio Mariuzzo, Dardano Sacchetti
The House By The Cemetery is very strange movie and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it. It follows a family that is moving into an old mansion in New England. The son, Bob, has some kind of telepathic communication with a little girl who keeps warning him not to come to the house. Soon after moving in, it becomes apparent that something strange is going on in the basement which is nailed shut.
House By The Cemetery has some pretty gruesome kills in it and that likely the reason it was on the "Nasty" list. Most notable is the "bat attack" scene which becomes so bloody it actually starts to seem comical. My guess as to the real reason House By The Cemetery was banned though, is Bob. Bob is quite possibly the most annoying character put to screen. His voice makes me angry, his face makes me angry. He is the Jar-Jar Binks of Italian horror.
Despite Bob however, The House By The Cemetery is a pretty engaging piece of Fulci madness. I was never quite sure where it was going to go and was enthralled by oddness of it all. The House By The Cemetery gets 4 out of 6 beers.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Video Nasty #18- Zombie
After The Evil Dead came Night Of The Demons, which was a blast. Night Of The Demons is a favorite of mine. It's just a good, fun eighties horror flick. And it also has Linnea Quigley in it which doesn't hurt. Unfortunately, I had to tap out for Lamberto Bava's Demons which was the last feature of the night. I love Demons, but it was just too late and I was too tired. The next day, after a visit to the nearby Monroeville Mall where George Romero's Dawn Of The Dead was shot, we settled back in for another night of great horror flicks starting with Dawn Of The Dead itself. Although I've seen it countless times before, it was a pleasure to finally see this classic at a drive-in. The second film of the night was one that I've also seen many times before but was very excited to see on the big screen-
(1979)
Director: Lucio Fulci
Writers: Elisa Briganti, Dardano Sacchetti
Zombie (aka Zombi 2, Zombie Flesh Eaters, Woodoo) follows a woman who, along with a reporter, is trying to track down her missing father. Her father, Dr. Menard, is a physician who is investigating the secrets of the island of Matool where the dead have begun to rise. Although Zombie started production before Dawn Of The Dead (which was known in Europe as Zombi), when the George Romero film became a hit, the producers of Zombie added scenes to the beginning and end to try to tie it into the franchise.
As with many Fulci films, Zombie (Zombie Flesh Eaters) is very gory and that's certainly the reason it was banned by the British Film Board. Surprisingly, Zombie Flesh Eaters 2 and 3 were not banned by the BBFC.
I've watched Zombie many times, and not only because it tricked me by being released in the U.S. as both Zombie AND Zombie 2. To me, the plot of Zombie is not particularly enthralling, instead it's the horror setpieces that turn the film from just your average zombie flick into a truly great one. Once you've seen the "zombie vs. shark" scene (in which an actual actor dressed as a zombie interacts with a real shark) or the tense scene in which a woman's eyeball is slowly impaled on a splinter of wood, you will never forget them as long as you live. The haunting progressive soundtrack by Fabio Frizzi also elevates the film to another level. Essentially, Zombie is a dumb horror movie that has enough great elements that, in the end, it becomes a classic. And how can you resist that poster of the maggot-infested zombie proclaiming "WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU!"? That's genius marketing right there. Zombie gets 4 1/2 out of 6 beers.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Video Nasty #17- The Evil Dead
After the credits rolled on Texas Chain Saw Massacre and I visited the concession stand for a bad-ass pizza burger, the ultimate experience in grueling terror began. A film that the drive-in environment could not be more perfect for-
(1981)
Director: Sam Raimi
Writer: Sam Raimi
When I was twelve years old, I flirted around horror movies. I was not yet a "horror fan", but I did have a fascination with monsters as any red-blooded American kid should. I loved Godzilla movies and two of my favorite shows were Tales From The Darkside and Monsters. I was no stranger to horror, but the very thought of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees still terrified me. I was however VERY into comic books, Marvel Comics to be exact. And so it was that I began to see advertisements on the back of my comics for a movie that was so intriguing that I couldn't resist finding out what it was all about. Staring back at me from the back cover of the latest issue of Amazing Spider-Man was a chiseled hero with a chainsaw for a hand and a large-breasted maiden by his side. Standing atop the wreckage of a car and oddly enough in front of a castle, he was beset upon by a group of skeletons. And the tagline for this film read "Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas." Thus I was introduced to Sam Raimi's third Evil Dead film Army Of Darkness, and I began a love affair with horror films that I continue on to this day. While Army Of Darkness is certainly more of a slapstick comedy than a horror film, it introduced me to the crazy world of Ashley Williams and once I discovered that there were two films that came before, I just HAD to see them. In one night, later that year, I sat down by the glow of the television to view for the first time both Night Of The Living Dead and The Evil Dead and I instantly loved them both. The Evil Dead threw me for a loop though. Compared to Army Of Darkness, Evil Dead is pretty darn scary. It was the perfect thing to convert me into a full-on gorehound.
The plot of Evil Dead is nothing groundbreaking. It's your basic 'teenagers go to a cabin in the woods, teenagers accidentally awaken ancient evil, teenagers get dead' story. The thing that sets Evil Dead apart from other horror films is it's director's inventiveness. Sam Raimi is not afraid to take risks with camera angles and elaborate shots and it turns Evil Dead from just your average horror flick into an unnerving thrill ride. Add to this the spectacular sound design, and you've got pure, unadulterated terror. Also, it doesn't hurt that all of the actors in the film come off as very likable people. Even Scotty, who's a giant dick.
The Evil Dead was a major hit when it was released in the U.K. and became the number one video release that year. The next year however, the Video Recordings Act would pass and Evil Dead's notoriety would propel it straight to the top of the video nasties list. There's no question as to why it was put there, Evil Dead is balls-to-the-wall gruesome and revels in it's goriness.
If you read up on the production of The Evil Dead you'll find that, much like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, it was a miserable shoot. The cabin in the film was just as remote as it seems which became an issue whenever someone was injured on the set. Sam Raimi, who is infamous for his love of torturing actors, supposedly had Bruce Campbell chop wood for hours on end to use in the "wood chopping scene". If you don't remember that scene, that's because it doesn't exist. In fact, I only remember one piece of wood being chopped in the entire film and wouldn't exactly call it a scene. By the end of the film, the cast & crew were burning furniture inside the cabin to keep warm. The bright side though is that the experience shines through and makes the movie just that much more effective. Everyone involved with the film poured every ounce of what they had into the film and it shows. The success of The Evil Dead would lead to the even crazier Evil Dead 2, and then of course to the absolutely insane Army Of Darkness. But The Evil Dead still holds it's own as a solid horror film and it's legacy is one that I believe will live on for generations of gorehounds to come. Evil Dead gets 6 out of 6 beers.
(1981)
Director: Sam Raimi
Writer: Sam Raimi
When I was twelve years old, I flirted around horror movies. I was not yet a "horror fan", but I did have a fascination with monsters as any red-blooded American kid should. I loved Godzilla movies and two of my favorite shows were Tales From The Darkside and Monsters. I was no stranger to horror, but the very thought of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees still terrified me. I was however VERY into comic books, Marvel Comics to be exact. And so it was that I began to see advertisements on the back of my comics for a movie that was so intriguing that I couldn't resist finding out what it was all about. Staring back at me from the back cover of the latest issue of Amazing Spider-Man was a chiseled hero with a chainsaw for a hand and a large-breasted maiden by his side. Standing atop the wreckage of a car and oddly enough in front of a castle, he was beset upon by a group of skeletons. And the tagline for this film read "Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas." Thus I was introduced to Sam Raimi's third Evil Dead film Army Of Darkness, and I began a love affair with horror films that I continue on to this day. While Army Of Darkness is certainly more of a slapstick comedy than a horror film, it introduced me to the crazy world of Ashley Williams and once I discovered that there were two films that came before, I just HAD to see them. In one night, later that year, I sat down by the glow of the television to view for the first time both Night Of The Living Dead and The Evil Dead and I instantly loved them both. The Evil Dead threw me for a loop though. Compared to Army Of Darkness, Evil Dead is pretty darn scary. It was the perfect thing to convert me into a full-on gorehound.
The plot of Evil Dead is nothing groundbreaking. It's your basic 'teenagers go to a cabin in the woods, teenagers accidentally awaken ancient evil, teenagers get dead' story. The thing that sets Evil Dead apart from other horror films is it's director's inventiveness. Sam Raimi is not afraid to take risks with camera angles and elaborate shots and it turns Evil Dead from just your average horror flick into an unnerving thrill ride. Add to this the spectacular sound design, and you've got pure, unadulterated terror. Also, it doesn't hurt that all of the actors in the film come off as very likable people. Even Scotty, who's a giant dick.
The Evil Dead was a major hit when it was released in the U.K. and became the number one video release that year. The next year however, the Video Recordings Act would pass and Evil Dead's notoriety would propel it straight to the top of the video nasties list. There's no question as to why it was put there, Evil Dead is balls-to-the-wall gruesome and revels in it's goriness.
If you read up on the production of The Evil Dead you'll find that, much like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, it was a miserable shoot. The cabin in the film was just as remote as it seems which became an issue whenever someone was injured on the set. Sam Raimi, who is infamous for his love of torturing actors, supposedly had Bruce Campbell chop wood for hours on end to use in the "wood chopping scene". If you don't remember that scene, that's because it doesn't exist. In fact, I only remember one piece of wood being chopped in the entire film and wouldn't exactly call it a scene. By the end of the film, the cast & crew were burning furniture inside the cabin to keep warm. The bright side though is that the experience shines through and makes the movie just that much more effective. Everyone involved with the film poured every ounce of what they had into the film and it shows. The success of The Evil Dead would lead to the even crazier Evil Dead 2, and then of course to the absolutely insane Army Of Darkness. But The Evil Dead still holds it's own as a solid horror film and it's legacy is one that I believe will live on for generations of gorehounds to come. Evil Dead gets 6 out of 6 beers.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Video Nasty #16 1/2- The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
I had the pleasure last weekend of visiting one of my favorite places in the world- the Riverside Drive-In in Vandergrift, PA. Twice a year, an ever-growing group of friends and I make the five-hour journey to enjoy a weekend of great (and sometimes not-so-great) horror flicks as part of their April Ghoul's Drive-In Monster-Rama and it's autumn counterpart the Drive-In Super Monster-Rama. It's always a memorable experience and one that I treasure a lot. As enjoyable as it is to watch an old horror movie in a dark room by yourself, nothing quite beats relaxing outside with a group of friends and a tub of popcorn, basking in the glow of a film like The Thing With Two Heads or Psychomania.
This year, four of the eight movies playing were ones that I still had to cross off of my Video Nasties list. The first film on Friday night was not one of those four but was still banned in England, so I decided to include it as a "half" entry.
(1974)
Director: Tobe Hooper
Writers: Kim Henkel, Tobe Hooper
After a visit to the concession stand for a giant tub of popcorn and some great old school trailers, I was fully prepared to revisit The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. TCM is one of my favorite horror films and one that still gets to me on a visceral level every time i watch it. That being said, seeing it a drive-in is a totally different experience and is truly the way it was meant to be viewed. I don't think I need to go into any detail as far as the plot is concerned, if you haven't seen The Texas Chain Saw Massacre you need to stop reading this right now and watch it immediately. It's a horror classic for a reason and is essential viewing for anyone who's even a casual horror fan. The biggest thing that struck me on this viewing was how funny the movie really is. I mean, I was already aware of the darkly comic streak that runs through the film, and maybe it was just the thrill of seeing it at a drive-in or the good spirits I was in, but I could not stop laughing. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is truly a masterpiece of black comedy-horror that has the ability to be a laugh riot or intense thrill-ride depending on how the audience views it. Sometimes it can even be both at once.
My father, although supportive of my obsession with horror films, is not really a horror movie guy. He saw The Texas Chain Saw Massacre at a drive-in back when it first came out and was not impressed. When I told him how much I enjoy it, he told me that all he remembered was that it was so dark you couldn't see anything and that there was a lot of chainsaw noise and screaming. After finally seeing it at a drive-in, I now understand what he was talking about. Though the print that was screened was pretty good, there were a few parts, especially toward the end, where it was hard to make out what was going on. That's kind of part of the drive-in experience though. If I wanted to watch a crystal clear presentation of a film, I could do so in my living room, blu-ray remote in hand. At a drive-in, all those barely visible scenes, all those cracks and pops and cigarette burns, they're all characters unto themselves and ones that I have grown to love dearly.
While not technically a "video nasty", Texas Chain Saw Massacre was banned in the U.K. Which is odd since the notorious film has barely an ounce of blood or gore in it. A very good possibility is that it's simply because it has the word "chainsaw" in it. Along with "ninja", among others, this was a trigger word for the BBFC and was simply not allowed. That's how England ended up with the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Whatever reason was given for banning this film however is completely undeserved. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre changed the face of horror cinema when it was released and still inspires and terrifies to this day. It has a grittiness and unapologetic tone that you can't turn away from, no matter how hard you may try. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre gets 6 out of 6 beers.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
On The 25th Day Of Christmas... Santa Claws
(1996)
Director: John Russo
Writer: John Russo
Santa Claws begins with young Wayne waking up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve to find his widowed mother having sex with his uncle. So he shoots them both dead. Years later, he is the creepy neighbor of scream queen actress Raven Quinn (Debbie Rochon), who he's obsessed with. Struggling with raising children and her crumbling marriage, Raven turns to Wayne with her problems. He takes this as a sign to murder people he feels have wronged her. The Santa suit is more of an afterthought if anything.
Oh how far John Russo has fallen... The co-writer of one of the greatest and most influential horror films of all time, Night Of The Living Dead, brings us 83 minutes of barely competent shots, boring dialogue, and an entirely forgettable killer that has only a vague motive. Santa Claws actually reminded me a lot of Ed Wood's Orgy Of The Dead in that it's about 20 minutes worth of plot padded out to movie length with unending stripteases. The main difference is that Orgy Of The Dead's plot was more interesting, featured better actors, and it's stripteases were more arousing. The only saving grace of Santa Claws is Debbie Rochon who is not only lovely, but actually ends up giving a somewhat engaging performance. A miracle really, considering the material that she's given to work with. Santa Claws is pretty much garbage. I don't really want to think about how much alcohol would be needed to make it fun. 1 1/2 out of 6 beers.
And with that, Bastard Of Cinema's 25 Days Of Christmas comes to an end. Although it kind of came down to the wire with me being able to get these done, especially in the midst of getting a promotion at work and being forced to be there six days a week during the holiday season, I actually did have a lot of fun. I got to revisit some old classics I hadn't seen in years and discover a few new ones along the way. Some were terrible and a bit difficult to sit through, but some of those also oddly produced some of the most fun reviews to write. Believe it or not, there are actually enough Christmas horror movies out there for me to be able to do this again next year. Although I might be scraping the bottom of the barrel with that Caesar & Otto movie... I don't know, we'll see. Either way, after 75 movies in October and 25 more in December, I feel like I need a bit of a break so things will probably slow down a little here. But don't worry, there will be more surprises on the horizon! Until then, relax, have a beer, and enjoy some cheese.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)