Knight Chills (2001) was on one of those Brentwood 4-Movie Packs, so I pretty much expected complete and total crap. And oh how right I was. About the only credit I can give Knight Chills is that it has an interesting concept. Basically, a lonely nerd commits suicide then returns from the grave as a black knight to kill his former Dungeons & Dragons players. Sure, it's a really dumb idea, but at least it's an idea that sets itself apart from your typical slasher. Aside from that however, Knight Chills is a terribly inept movie. I personally found it awesomely inept. And then the ending came, and I lost my shit. The last thirty seconds of this movie is probably one of the most unintentionally hilarious endings to a movie that I've ever seen in my life! If you want a good horror movie, stay far far away from Knight Chills. But if you want to enjoy a disastrously poor attempt at a horror movie, this is the movie for you! 9 (That's right, 9!) out of 12 beers.
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Then, because apparently Knight Chills wasn't bad enough for me, I went with Godmonster Of Indian Flats (1973). This movie is pretty much a complete mess. The plot was a bit too boring for me to pay much attention to and the movie seems to be making some sort of vague political or environmental statement that I don't quite get, but once the giant mutated sheep shows up, it's suddenly worth sitting through. That's right, the Godmonster Of Indian Flats is a giant mutated sheep that emits a toxic gas. As awesomely stupid as that sounds, I still can't really recommend this movie. Just look up clips from it on youtube and save yourself some time. 3 out of 12 beers.
I absolutely loved Ti West's film The House Of The Devil, but after his horrendous Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever and his underwhelming segment in V/H/S, I was beginning to think that maybe House Of The Devil was just a fluke. With The Innkeepers (2011), my belief that Ti West is a director to keep your eye on is re-ignited. The Innkeepers is a slow-burn ghost story that takes place in a supposedly haunted hotel that's about to close down due to slow business. Two slacker employees make up the entire hotel staff and decide that this is the weekend that they're going to get proof that the hotel is haunted. Hijinks ensue. The Innkeepers is very deliberately paced and doesn't really have much payoff, but Ti West makes it work by giving us truly likable characters and a spooky atmosphere that balances well with the comedic moments of the film. I know that this movie was sort of hit or miss with audiences, but it hit with me. 10 out of 12 beers.
After a viewing of the video nasty Anthropophagus (Which I can hopefully write up sometime today or tomorrow), I ended the night with Creepshow III (2006). This film gets a lot of hate, and I suppose that it deserves some of it. The opening animation is so horrendous that it actually caused me physical pain to look at it. The special effects are uneven. The practical effects are passable, but when they try to do digital effects they fail miserably to be anything more than cartoonish. But I think the biggest reason this film gets so much hate is that it has the audacity to call itself Creepshow III. Creepshow and Creepshow II are classics, and if anyone from those films were involved in this movie it might make sense to call it Creepshow III. If this film had called itself anything else, I'm certain that it would not have been received as poorly. The segments are silly and often make no sense, but are surprisingly entertaining. I would recommend this movie, but only if you go in expecting nothing more than a cheap anthology horror film. 7 out of 12 beers.
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