Tuesday, October 9, 2012

October Horror Movies Day 8


I rang in day 8 with a movie I'd been wanting to check out for a while. Killer Nerd (1991) stars the infamous self-proclaimed nerd Toby Radloff as Harold Kunkle, an object of ridicule who after several embarrassing encounters finally snaps and begins offing his enemies in gory fashion. The movie starts out kind of slow, but once our titular nerd begins to kill it becomes quite good. It's pretty much what you would expect from a Troma movie. I think I'll definitely try to check out Bride Of Killer Nerd before the month is over. 9 out of 12 beers.







 I'm a sucker for anything involving H.P. Lovecraft. I'm sure other Lovecraft fans can attest to the frustration involved with Lovecraft-inspired movies. We should know better by now, but we just keep coming back again and again... Cthulhu Mansion (1992) has about as much to do with Lovecraft and Cthulhu as the food in the back of my refrigerator. I don't even want to talk about the plot of this movie, it's stupid. The only thing tying it to Lovecraft is the fact that "Cthulhu" is written on the front of a book owned by a magician and on the gate to his mansion. There was pretty much one cool scene in the movie involving a monster in the fridge, but the rest of it is pretty forgettable. An alright movie to watch with friends and a few beers as long as you've got nothing better to do, but that's about it. 4 out of 12 beers.










I'd been hearing about Curtains (1983) for a while and finally decided to check it out. Whenever I would be involved in a discussion about 80's slasher movies, someone would inevitably mention Curtains and how it was the most underrated slasher ever and how you just had to see it to know. Expectations were pretty high for this one, and I actually wasn't disappointed. Curtains is certainly not the best slasher, but it is a pretty solid one involving a director who invites several actresses to his home to audition for the coveted role in an upcoming film. No way this could go wrong, right? It does a pretty good job of keeping you guessing and providing some genuinely creepy moments. Unfortunately, the copy I watched was pretty dark so it was hard to tell what was going on half the time. I know that it's available on DVD in a poor transfer on one of those multi-movie packs, but it would be nice to see this film get a nice transfer and proper DVD release. It certainly deserves it more than a lot of movies that have. 9 out of 12 beers.







So if I should have known better with Cthulhu Mansion, I DEFINITELY should have known better with Hellraiser: Revelations (2011). This film was made in two weeks for the sole purpose of allowing The Weinstein Company to retain their rights to the Hellraiser franchise. And it shows. Though I love Doug Bradley, he has done some truly awful Hellraiser movies, but even he declined this one. When the film claimed that it was "from the mind of Clive Barker", Barker responded by not only denying it but claiming "It's not even from my butt-hole.". The only reason I watched this was because It was only slightly more than an hour long and I already had a few beers in me. That is the only way I would recommend viewing this. It's really such a terrible movie it's almost comical. Trust me, it takes a really bad Hellraiser movie to make me look back on this guy with fondness:

  

Hellraiser: Revelations gets 5 beers only because it's so dumb, it's actually a little fun. And it will make Hellraiser III look amazing in comparison.

 


I heard a lot of mixed things about Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011). Some people told me it was way too slow and/or boring. I'm not quite sure what these people were talking about, because I loved this movie. It's a Guillermo del Toro film through and through. The atmosphere is great, and creatures are absolutely frightening. This is a remake of a film from the 70's which I tried to watch previously, but fell asleep due to the pacing. But this one kept me glued to my seat the entire time. 10 out of 12 beers.



I ended the night with Some Guy Who Kills People (2011). I found this to actually be quite an endearing movie. It revolves around Ken, a thirty-something ex-mental patient whose life coming together is starting to interfere with his homicidal urges. The movie pulls off it's mix of comedy and horror pretty well, and Barry Bostwick is great as a bumbling sherriff. 9 out of 12 beers.



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